YOUR MOTHER OR YOUR WIFE

There is absolutely no place for comparison between a man's responsibility towards his wife and that towards his mother. This is in time 

These people occupy different part of his heart,  however, the responsibility towards mother is unconditional even if she is a witch flying in the middle of the night, it is you that will know how to avoid her evil and protect yourself with adhkār.

Allah says:

{ ۞ وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعۡبُدُوۤا۟ إِلَّاۤ إِیَّاهُ وَبِٱلۡوَ ٰ⁠لِدَیۡنِ إِحۡسَـٰنًاۚ إِمَّا یَبۡلُغَنَّ عِندَكَ ٱلۡكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَاۤ أَوۡ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُل لَّهُمَاۤ أُفࣲّ وَلَا تَنۡهَرۡهُمَا وَقُل لَّهُمَا قَوۡلࣰا كَرِیمࣰا }

And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word

[Surah Al-Isrâ’: 23]

Prophet Ibrahim's father was extremely hostile to him that he warned him to stay away from him else he stones him, Allah said:

{ قَالَ أَرَاغِبٌ أَنتَ عَنۡ ءَالِهَتِی یَـٰۤإِبۡرَ ٰ⁠هِیمُۖ لَىِٕن لَّمۡ تَنتَهِ لَأَرۡجُمَنَّكَۖ وَٱهۡجُرۡنِی مَلِیࣰّا }

[His father] said, "Have you no desire for my gods, O Abraham?  If you do not desist, I will surely stone you, so avoid me a prolonged time."

[Surah Maryam: 46]

What was prophet Ibrahim's response to his father despite the threat?

He said:

{ قَالَ سَلَـٰمٌ عَلَیۡكَۖ سَأَسۡتَغۡفِرُ لَكَ رَبِّیۤۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ بِی حَفِیࣰّا }

[Abraham] said, "Peace will be upon you. I will ask forgiveness for you of my Lord. Indeed, He is ever gracious to me.

[Surah Maryam: 47]

As for the wife, Allah added a clause even though the fundamental principle is that you be kind to them and the shar'eeah doesn't like separation but approves of it.

Allah said :

....فامساك بمعروف او تسريح بإحسان...

either you retain her on reasonable terms or release her with kindness.

[Surah Al-baqarah: 229]

So, the relationship is not that is inseparable as against that of the parents.

Allah also said :

{ .... وَٱلَّـٰتِی تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهۡجُرُوهُنَّ فِی ٱلۡمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضۡرِبُوهُنَّۖ فَإِنۡ أَطَعۡنَكُمۡ فَلَا تَبۡغُوا۟ عَلَیۡهِنَّ سَبِیلًاۗ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِیࣰّا كَبِیرࣰا }

[Surah An-Nisâ': 34]

. ....But those [wives] from whom you fear arrogance -  [first] advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them. But if they obey you [once more], seek no means against them. Indeed, Allah is ever Exalted and Grand.

As against what Allah said of the two parents even when they call you to shirk, Allah said:

{ وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰۤ أَن تُشۡرِكَ بِی مَا لَیۡسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلۡمࣱ فَلَا تُطِعۡهُمَاۖ وَصَاحِبۡهُمَا فِی ٱلدُّنۡیَا مَعۡرُوفࣰاۖ وَٱتَّبِعۡ سَبِیلَ مَنۡ أَنَابَ إِلَیَّۚ ثُمَّ إِلَیَّ مَرۡجِعُكُمۡ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمۡ تَعۡمَلُونَ }

But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.

[Surah Luqmân: 15]

BE NICE TO YOUR WIFE , BE NICE TO YOUR MOTHER, YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO BOTH OF THEM ARE DIFFERENT, STOP THE COMPARISON.

Author: Ustadh Ibrahim Pharm